Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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