Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
