think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
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