I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize