If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
