I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Randomize
