I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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