I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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