I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
