she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize