i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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