My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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