He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Your cock deserves a montage
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
It's shark week go big or go home
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
