I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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