i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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