You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
