So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
