Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
