Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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