I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize