I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
