So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
