As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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