I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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