I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
