i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I got inside last night via doggy door
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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