Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
