we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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