Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Randomize
