Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize