Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
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