I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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