And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
