Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
