my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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