Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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