I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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