That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
