The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
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