the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
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And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
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Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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