Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
