We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
