do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
