my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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