mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
