im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize
