Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
