I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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