You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
