Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
