we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
