there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
