i think my tv is drunk
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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