Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Randomize
