Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Girls should come with a carfax report
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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