I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
