You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
