So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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