3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
