margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
