This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
