her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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